I’m approaching my 2 year natural hair anniversary at the end of December so I just wanted to share my thoughts on my hair journey so far.
Going natural has been really hard and I have been unhappy for most of my hair journey. I thought that I would feel happier as time when on, but this is not the case.
The longer my hair has grows I have been less inclined I am to look after it. The thought of detangling and braiding my hair every night after a long day…well, doesn’t create happy feelings. It takes around two hours to detangle, wash, deep condition and style my hair; which is too long.
Yet I can’t seem to make a decision on my hair. If relax my hair, I’m just conforming to western beauty standards? If I stay with my natural curls; could be I ruining my work opportunities? When I see Ms. Obama, Oprah and other very successful black women most have straight hair or they are wearing wigs, which just adds to the problem of making a decision.
To be honest, I feel the impact of western beauty standards on black women in the work place is an issue that very successful and notatable black women don’t speak about in a direct way. In the end it is always inferred that overall black women would do better at work when hair is worn straight (relaxed), under a wig or weave.
So I shared my feeling with my mum and this is what said (She’s 80 and Nigerian and at the peak of her straight taking self). ‘No matter your hairstyle, you will always be black. Whether you straighten your hair or wearing natural; it doesn’t matter. If someone wants to discriminate against you or show prejudice toward you, they will. They will always find something they can use to do that. So do what makes you feel good, what fits in with your life.’
She continues ‘Joyce you have far more important things to do with your brain.’ Then she added that she love my natural hair and thinks it really suits me. She was really positive about me going natural, in fact my whole family was.
As I’ve writing this post, I realised that I’m not ready to relax my hair just yet. So I’m really stuck.